9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
