pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
