fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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