Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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