Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize