i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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