He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
