This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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