Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
another moral hangover. fuck.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
