It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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