Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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