how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
