i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
