i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
