when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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