I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize