kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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