Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
