There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How does it feel to date your dad?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
