Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
