Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
