sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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