It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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