The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize