Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
