Having a random hookup so left but love u
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
