pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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