im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
