Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
