Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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