If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
