In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize