I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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