ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
