I can text with my tongue
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Randomize
