It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
