Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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