Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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