i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
