it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
