Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
