Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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