Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
