Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
