let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
