If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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