That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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