you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
