If i come over, it means nothing
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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