I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
