You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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