How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm bleeding and have questions
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
