It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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