While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
