i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
