I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
