barbara walters just said penis...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
