Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
