His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
