He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
