youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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