she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
