its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish i was in the wii world.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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