I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
