fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
