So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
