She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
