I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
