i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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