she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The feeling are messing with the penis
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
